The Siths of Our Lives

In Which Nyx Gets Bitches

Hannik docked his ship far away from the main academy on Korriban so that they could approach stealthily. As they exited the ship, the party was ambushed by a large group of Wraids. One lunged at Hannik, quickly taking him down. Nyx leaped on top of the ship to assault the creatures with Force Lightning, while Kage backed into the ship to form a choke point. Between the two of them, they were able to kill all the creatures. Kage then revived Hannik with a medkit.

Hannik and Nyx left Kage to his own devices while the two of them snuck into the Sith Academy. Hannik disabled the security systems, allowing her to enter unnoticed. Hannik returned to the ship while Nyx met with her Sith master Darth Dremenis, explaining the she was not a traitor and had been set up. Her master believed her, and ordered her to keep watch on Hannik and Kage.

Nyx returned to Hannik’s ship. Having been delayed by a day already, Hannik immediately set off to deliver his cargo. When they landed, Nyx decided to go with Hannik, and Kage was once again left to his own devices.

Unfortunately, Kage’s devices involve following people into bathrooms and murdering them. This got him a bit of attention from the local law enforcement, who captured him and locked him up. But only an hour later, members of a local gang bizarrely named the Pink Pistols staged a breakout for some of their imprisoned members. In the process they captured Kage and brought him with them.

Nyx and Hannik returned from his meeting and discovered what had happened to Kage. Hannik wanted to leave Kage behind, citing him as more trouble than he was worth, but Nyx wanted to rescue him. Hannik returned to his ship and left the planet, while Nyx tracked down the gang that had taken Kage.

Once she located the Pink Pistols, Nyx intentionally got herself captured. Put in a cell next to Kage, the two came up with a plan. One at a time, Nyx seduced the guards into entering her cell. She and Kage would then kill them, and Kage would eat the bodies to remove most of the evidence.

The surviving gang members eventually noticed the smell and pile of bones in Kage’s cell, and brought the two of them before their Hutt leader. Nyx moved in close to the Hutt and then pulled out her concealed lightsabers sliced the Hutt in two. She then used the Force to try to persuade the remaining gang members that they should now work for her. About half agreed, and the other half were easily slaughtered by her and Kage.

Nyx renamed the gang “Nyx’s Bitches”, a name somehow less degrading than the gang’s previous name. She and Kage then returned to the starport, hijacked a ship, and forced the pilot to fly them off planet.


As we approached Korriban, it became apparent that my vastly inferior compatriots needed a tactical plan from a sound mind of a military genius. Seeing as how one was unavailable, my awesometastic brain was all we had. “Quickly Hannik!” I shouted like a gorrilla, “Land us far away so we can be all super ninjatastic!” Nyx swooned over my awesome tactical planning, that involved marshmellows. suddenly like 50 of these big ass lizards showed up after we landed. And Hannik was all like “I’m a little bitch” and totally got owned. And Nyx totally pussed out and jumped on the ship. I was all liek “I’m a badass” and and and went insdie the ship, creatig a tactical thingy I can’t remember where they all couldn’t get me at once, and i was all like “pew pew” and owned their faces. THen those two douches were all like “Hey, you’re too amazing, we’re gona go cry while you do stuff.” So they totally elft, liek doches, whle I travelled around on scooter picking up hot babes and banging them like army drums. After a while thery came back with soem old douche who was all like “I’ma syth master, blah blah blah” and he totally amde me a sammich. and we went to somepalce and they were all like “WE;’re gona go” and I was all like “fine.” So like I totally flexed my awesome muscles and the town people decided to amkea statue of my awsomeness. After that I was totally arm wrestling with like 12 wookies as once and totally won. And then some soldiers showed up, like 12 bilion, and I owned their faces. And one of them was lik “Come with us and we can ahve a aprty” So I went with them and we partied, and to amek sure some douche sith lord didn’t bitch at me, they told him they “locked me up” lol. THen some gang members were all like come with us and we can party, so we did, and it was kewl. And Nyx came in and TOTALLY over reacted! And they put us in this sweet roo with these cool bars, and I ttoally punched them in the face. Afetr that I was all like “Dude you totally belong to me” and the gang members surrendered for no raisen. And I named them “Nyx’s Biches” so she wouldn’t feel abd case I’m awesome.

In Which Nyx Gets Bitches

Thnen we got in a ship and left

In Which Nyx Gets Bitches

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